Thursday, 28 October 2010

The Stages of Mothering (as not described in the literature!)

I've been giving this a lot of thought recently and I reckon that you can divide parenting in the early years into a few distinct categories. These stages are not described in the literature, but can easily be discerned by looking closely at a mothers clothes.

Lets face it, the moment that you decide to become a mother, your wardrobe changes and the ability to keep your clothes clean for any period of time diminishes significantly (if you are anything like me). The type of stains define where you are in the mothering journey:

1. Pregnancy: All greasy stains are magically attracted to your growing baby bump. No matter how careful you are, you ALWAYS seem to have some kind of dirty, greasy stain down your front.

2. Newborn: Even if you try to use burp cloths, you end up with milky badges of honour on your shoulder.

3. The introduction of solids: Who knew that banana stains black and that pumpkin stains can camouflage themselves so well that you only ever notice them after having had a trip to the shops, been to playgroup AND been to the park. Leaving you with the question "How long has that been there?!?"

4. The toddler years: The dirty marks move from the top to the knee. It is virtually impossible to find a paor of jeans without grubby marks at the knee. If you are lucky it is just from sticky fingers, if you are not so lucky its dribble and/ or snot!

Have I missed any stages?

For any of you with older children, what is the next stage (or do I not want to know???)


  1. I never knew banana stained black until I had kids. It took me a while to figure out what it was!!

    just wait till kindy or pre school and it's paint on everything....and when they draw on them selves ALL THE TIME

  2. I have 2 boys, 7 & 5 yrs and I am now only just managing to be able to wear white again! Only a white t-shirt, but at least I can wear it now without having to threaten to chuck it out after only 1 wear due to imopssible stains to remove!

  3. Haha!! Unfortunately I'm at the weaning and knee stages (and it's usually snot)! I must change outfits twice a day! x


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